Instant reaction post: “Game of Thrones” S5, Ep8 ‘Hardhome’

Tyrion and Dany in 'Hardhome'
Tyrion and Dany in ‘Hardhome’

The show opens where it left off last week: with Dany and Tyrion meeting. Even in a distinctly disadvantageous position, Tyrion still talks back. (Though if he doesn’t, he wouldn’t be the Tyrion we know and love.) But it’s true, if not for his pesky relatives undermining him all the time, he actually has a very impressive resume.

SEE, DANY??? Even Tyrion who has met Ser Jorah for only a few days can see how devoted he is to you. You’ve known him for years and yet you’re so unforgiving!

Poor Ser Jorah! Once again, he is banished. Tyrion managed to spare his life against Dany’s frankly disturbing kill-happy tendencies, but he couldn’t give him back what he wanted, which was her favour. And he looked very sorry about it too. :'(

Wasn’t Cersei in her queenly garments when last we saw her? How did they make her change into rags? And how far she has fallen!

So A Man helps the Many-Faced God to dispense justice?

Arya in ‘Hardhome’

Tommen is just a boy. How could Cersei expect him to be king? Why did Cersei insist on making her immature children kings before their time by secretly poisoning Robert? This is her comeuppance for her sins since Season 1, and she does deserve it, even though we sympathise with her sometimes.

Sansa looks more collected now than when we last saw her in that room. And now she knows Theon, no, Reek, didn’t kill Bran and Rickon. That only makes it marginally better though. Two farm boys still got killed and burnt to death for Theon’s hubris (not to mention the people in Winterfell loyal to the Starks whom he killed back then), so his punishment was well served, though Ramsay’s was excessive.

Dany really cannot accept any criticism. This is her fatal flaw, if she is going to die by anything. Tyrion gives really great advice, and it’s good for her to see an opinion other than “I will DEFINITELY be ruler on the Iron Throne; nobody better question that.”

And there, the line from the Season 5 trailer finally appears!

Why did Ser Jorah go back to the slaver? Because he thinks he’s a dead man. Even to the last, he wants to show his devotion to Dany. :'( Love makes no sense.

Cersei doesn’t understand that power doesn’t mean everything to everyone.

Olly looks like he’s planning something. :S Something that would look wrong to others, but in his heart he knows it’s right.

So Tormund kills the “Lord of Bones”, and his people just stand and watch? Wow.

“He’s prettier than both my daughters, but he knows how to fight. He’s young, but he knows how to lead.”

Tormund, you must have some really ugly daughters then. But seriously, why do people, scratch that, why do MEN always use other people’s looks, especially if they’re men, as an insult to cast aspersions on their ability to do anything? And it’s not like Jon looks particularly effeminate too.

Jon and Tormund in 'Hardhome'
Jon and Tormund in ‘Hardhome’

Don’t ever say things like: “I’m right behind you, I promise.” Because you definitely won’t be.

Is Jon’s last surviving Night’s Watch friend who is not Sam going to die too? :S

OF COURSE the White Walkers are going to choose now of all times to show up. OF COURSE.

How did all the Wildlings beyond the gates disappear so quickly!

Jon, now is not the time to pause and take in the sights!

Tormund is going to die.

Having a giant in battle is really useful. As long as they’re on your side.

VALYRIAN STEEL FTW!!!! But how did Jon get his hands on one? I know Brienne has one because Jaime gave it to her, and I think Joffrey had the other, but obviously he doesn’t now because of being dead and all. Where did Jon’s come from?!

I knew that Wildling Chieftainess wouldn’t make it. :’-O

Yes Tolly, “OH FORK!” is a proper summation of my feelings right now.

Tormund didn’t die! That’s a surprise.

Can giants be turned into zombies?

Zombies and White Walkers can’t swim?

Now the army of the Undead has grown even larger. And they’ve lost all their dragonglass.

This was a great episode, with an exciting battle. Though it ends in defeat and a mirror of the image when they first arrived. :S Jon looked so sad, because he really tried to save them. Unfortunately it wasn’t in time.

Night's Watch party
Happier times.